Speed Shrinking

There is a misconception that going to counseling is going to get advice. In actuality, counselors are more of an educated sounding board, blank page, or way to discover what the client thinks. Counselor are not supposed to give advice. But now with the advent of "speed shrinking" advice is inevitable. You pose your question and get advice, almost fortune cookie type advice. The advice is necessarily shallow because the "relationship" is shallow.

Example of fortune cookie advice:

One middle-aged man told another therapist, Diana Kirschner, that he was worried about becoming unemployed. “I worry about losing my job, because I’m too young to get fired and too old to get hired,” said the man...[The counselor] asked the man if he had other interests. When he said he wanted to write a book, she responded: “Pursue this new venture. When you are in a situation like this, you must reinvent yourself.”

Does this help? Is this truly the best advice? Or just an easy answer to have something in 3 minutes.

Example of shallow advice:

...a 24-year-old product development manager at Ralph Lauren in New York, approached Ms. Kirschner to ask about the merits of online dating.
“Is it wrong?” she asked. “Is it a normal way to meet people?”
“It is very normal,” Ms. Kirschner answered. “As of 2007, the majority of people over 45 were meeting their lifelong loves online, and not through the traditional network of family, friends and business associates, and I believe this is now true for younger people.”

Why is she wondering? What is behind the question? And just because it is "normal" does not mean it is okay for her.

Even though we are an instant gratification society, there are just some things that take time. Counseling is one of them.

I got married over the summer, and therefore, took some time off school and off this blog, but now I am back and full of ideas. One of the best parts of being back on campus is having a group to swim with. I love swimming enough to keep it up on my own, but after a while the intensity of the workouts slackens due to no accountability and no competitive goals. So it helps quite a bit to swim with a core group of college swimmers who either made the varsity team and dropped out, swam for the varsity team and graduated (like me), or were good, but not quite fast enough to make the team - whatever the background, all competitive swimmers who are now practicing because they want to, with no coercion, and no real reason other than a love for the sport. What a great environment! As a varsity swimmer, we looked down on the intramural swimmers, but now as a member in a different point in my life, I see what an immature mistake that was. I am very excited to up my intensity again and get into shape!